


(touching his hand with my back) i kiss him

by mushroombiome



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Introspection, Kissing, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 04:28:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19077499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushroombiome/pseuds/mushroombiome
Summary: “Can’t keep your mouth off of me?” Magnus teases, running his fingers through Alec’s hair. The sensation urges him more, causing him to trail kisses throughout his chest and up his neck.“Nope,” Alec says. “In an ideal world, I’d never stop kissing you.”Alec Lightwood learns to love kissing.





	(touching his hand with my back) i kiss him

**Author's Note:**

> title from "the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us!" by sufjan stevens which is a very tender and gay song and i think fits very well w/ alec's character

Alec did not know what to expect during his first kiss.

If he were being completely honest, he doesn’t remember much of the wedding. From the moment Lydia first walked in to when he marched down the aisle towards a certain High Warlock, his entire body is pumped with pure adrenaline and anxiety; he’s surprised that he didn’t completely black out during that whole ordeal. But, how could he completely forget it after that first kiss from Magnus?

Growing up, he’s had certain ideas of what romance and kisses entail, mostly from observing Isabelle and Jace and indulging in some romance books after particularly stressful days. He’s always seen kisses as passionate, earth-shattering, and fervent; like you’re running out of air and they’re the only ones who can give it to you. He’s always imagined kisses with rushed, wandering hands, with sparks flying and fireworks going off. But as Alec storms down the aisle, grabbing Magnus by the lapels of his suit and pulling him into a kiss, he realizes that his preconceived ideas of kissing are all wrong.

Kissing Magnus is definitely earth-shattering but doesn’t feel like sparks or fireworks. It feels more like a breath of relief: a breath he’s been holding in for his entire life until he realizes that he’s never had to hold it in in the first place. 

Kissing Magnus, Alec notes how  _ soft _ his lips feel, unlike the sharpness of his entire being and existence as the High Warlock of Brooklyn. How, when he tilts his head just a centimeter, their lips mold together like they’re made for each other. It doesn’t feel passionate (they’ll have plenty of more times for things to get at that level,  _ not _ that it’s been on his mind since Alec laid his eyes on him), but it feels steady and stable, more than he’s ever felt in his entire life. It feels like an anchor in a stormy night at sea, and Alec never wants to let go.

It’s almost overwhelming, when everyone he knows in the same room is looking right at him, a Shadowhunter, kiss Magnus Bane, a Downworlder, and Alec needs to pull back to breathe a little bit. But, after pulling away from the kiss, he feels a weird absence ghosting his lips, a gnawing urge and a  _ want  _ inside him to feel more of Magnus. And, when Magnus chases his lips, Alec couldn’t help but to kiss him back, to feel the softness and steadiness of his lips again.

He might be selfish, kissing a man in front of his own wedding, but he’s had his entire lifetime being selfless, putting himself on the line countless of times for his family and for his career. And with someone as ethereal as Magnus Bane kissing him, how could he not be selfish?

* * *

By  _ the Angel, _ Alexander Gideon Lightwood loves kissing Magnus Bane.

Of course, being that it  _ is _ his first relationship, it takes a while for Alec to warm up to the idea of physical intimacy, especially with the disapproval and distrust from the more traditional Shadowhunters. He hates how much his heart rate races when he’s at the Institute and Magnus leans into him a little more, how his entire body tenses up when so much as their arms brush together in fear of the wrong person seeing them in such close proximity. But, being with Magnus means a lot of heart-to-hearts in the balcony of his apartment, about how Alec doesn’t need to walk on eggshells all the time, about how he shouldn’t be afraid to open his heart up a little more.

Jace and Isabelle have definitely noticed. It’s almost endearing, watching their brother, steely faced and just outright frowning most of the time, soften around the edges. And it leaves them warm and fuzzy in the heart, seeing him slowly reach out for help, because lord knows how much he’s deserved this, people taking care of him.

The first time he kisses Magnus in public, they’re in the middle of the Institute, with people at work constantly brushing past them.

“Sorry that meeting took longer than expected,” Alec says with a tired sigh.  Even with his towering height, he still looks pretty boyish, hunched over with his hands in his pockets and eyes sparkling as he tries hard not to smile  _ too _ hard at his boyfriend. After all, he does have some reputation to keep up. “You know how these Clave meetings go. They need everyone there to talk about the most minute of things.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, Alexander,” Magnus replies. Alec’s eyes glance up and down his body, noticing the way his hands are clasped in front of him with some restraint, as if he’s holding back. “The fact that you were there helped pass the time tremendously.”

Alec frowns, recalling a conversation in bed when Magnus expressed that he’s afraid he might come off as  _ too much _ to other people, himself included. He doesn’t want Magnus to feel that hesitancy and shame, especially since he’s worked so hard to figure out his own insecurities about physical intimacy.

And suddenly, he doesn’t care about everyone else looking onto him and Magnus. After all, everyone knows that they’re a couple, so why should he hold back?

It’s almost funny how surprised Magnus looks when Alec reaches over and grabs both of his hands, lacing their fingers together. A bashful smile graces his face, very unlike the image of the straight-faced Shadowhunter everyone knows.

“It’s late,” Alec says, thumb brushing back and forth Magnus’s skin. “And I still have some work I need to finish up, but can I, uh, come see you tonight? It’s been a rough week and I just—” He lets go of his hands momentarily so he can wave them around as he tries to find the right words to say. Even knowing Magnus for a while, he  _ still _ manages to find ways to leave Alec a stuttering mess. “I just really wanna see you. If that’s alright.” 

Magnus’s expression grows even fonder, his smile more softer, and Alec’s stomach can’t help but do little flips.

“Of course,” he responds, squeezing their hands. “Just text or call me when you’re done and I can pull up a portal for you.”

Alec smiles, a wave of warmth, affection, and  _ love _ coursing through him. And he can’t help but lightly tug on Magnus’s arms, pulling him into a deep, but gentle kiss. He can feel Magnus tense for a moment—probably thinking about the fact that they’re literally in the middle of the Institute where everyone can see them—but he relaxes eventually, tilting his head and pressing their lips further in. Alec sighs happily, letting himself sink into the kiss for a moment, pulling away before things get a little too heated for a place like the Institute.

“Thank you,” Alec then says, voice unashamedly husky and breathless. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Farewell, my love.” The term of endearment leaves his cheeks tinted red, but he finds that he doesn’t mind at all.

Alec stands, watching Magnus leave until he turns the corner and disappears. And even then, he continues standing in the middle of the Institute, mind wandering off about his night with Magnus, until Isabelle elbows him back to reality, a knowing smile gracing her face.

* * *

Alec throws his head back on the sheets, eyes closed and mouth open in complete bliss as Magnus hovers over him, thrusting into him deep and hard. His hands grab the sheets below him as he tries to find some way to anchor him to reality for just a moment. Everything he’s feeling now, from the pleasure of being fucked mercilessly into the bed, is overwhelming in the best way possible. This isn’t his first time having sex with Magnus, but he’s still blown away ( _ no pun intended _ ) by how much pleasure someone can feel all at once.

Feeling his entire body slowly tensing up, Alec releases his death-grip on the sheets to cup his boyfriend’s face.

“Magnus,” he manages to breathe out in between moans. “I’m close.”

“Yeah?” Magnus replies. His thrusts grow more deeper and erratic, hitting Alec in the best way possible. “Me too.”

At the same time Magnus reaches down to stroke him, Alec pulls his head down and almost smashes their lips together. But, neither care as their heads automatically tilt to deepen the kiss, mouths open and tongues exploring, occasionally pulling away to catch their breath.

Alec doesn’t know what it is about kissing and being fucked at the same time, but every time his lips press against Magnus’s, the pleasure increases tenfold and his body climbs even higher to heights he’s never known. Maybe it’s the fact that he can feel Magnus’s desperation in the kiss, matching his, like he’s glad that he’s not the only one completely falling apart in this bed. Or maybe it’s the fact that he can feel and taste him like this, another added sensation to the many he’s already feeling tonight. He’s completely and utterly consumed by Magnus Bane, and he loves every second of it.

Pulling away from the kiss with a wet and resounding  _ pop, _ Alec leans forward and buries his face in Magnus’s neck, coming with a loud moan. And Magnus follows shortly after, his grip on the Shadowhunter so strong, it might leave bruises the next day.

Alec slumps into the bed, with Magnus rolling off to the other side to sink into the sheets. He feels boneless and completely satiated; the world could end right then and there and he wouldn’t even care.

“Holy shit,” Magnus then says after a moment of catching their breath. His voice momentarily pulls Alec back to earth and he turns to his side, resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest and curling into his body. 

“Holy shit indeed,” Alec replies in a murmur, letting himself bury his face in his chest, feeling the damp coolness from the sweat earlier. In his post-coital haze, he starts pressing kisses where his lips can reach, revelling in the soft skin and essence that is Magnus Bane.

“Can’t keep your mouth off of me?” Magnus teases, running his fingers through Alec’s hair. The sensation urges him more, causing him to trail kisses throughout his chest and up his neck.

“Nope,” Alec says, pressing a final kiss to his cheek before resting his face against his neck, a movement so charming and sweet, a contrast to the passion and fervor from minutes before. “In an ideal world, I’d never stop kissing you.”

When Magnus leans back, he can see that his glamour’s dropped, golden cat eyes staring right back at him. And all Alec could do is blush, mostly at the fact that Magnus trusts him enough to let his guard down around him, but also because damn, he looks so beautiful and downright  _ hot _ .

“You’re such a sap,” Magnus replies with a soft smile. “Alexander Lightwood, of all people. A big, sappy, softie.”

Alec couldn’t help but smile and kiss him again.

* * *

Now, he can’t stop kissing Magnus with every chance he gets.

When he wakes up, he kisses Magnus, warm and soft and sleepy in the morning light. And throughout the time he wakes up to when he leaves the apartment, Alec is showering Magnus in kisses, from before and after breakfast to every time he passes him as they get ready. He kisses him everywhere, from short and chaste cheek kisses in the Institute's hallways to heated, open-mouthed kisses against his neck in the middle of Pandemonium’s dance floor.

When they cuddle, he can’t help but press his lips underneath whatever his head is resting against, from his collarbone to his stomach to the curve of his shoulder.

He kisses Magnus’s knuckles every time they hold hands, no matter where they are: from Clave meetings to date nights in Asia. It grounds Alec, makes him remember that, even if the world is falling apart around him, he has Magnus next to him, ready to support him through it all.

It’s almost second nature at this point; he can’t get enough of Magnus Bane. And he loves how much his boyfriend seems to drink it all in, never once questioning and judging his need to kiss him all the time.

“I’m happy for you, Alec,” Isabelle says after she and her brother share a few drinks while they wait for Magnus, Jace and Clary to join them. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this…  _ unguarded _ before. Until Magnus.”

Alec frowns, taking a sip of his beer (and cringing at the taste because at this point, he’ll probably never get used to alcohol). “What do you mean?”

She shrugs. “It’s just nice seeing you so openly affectionate with him, despite everything that’s happened.”

He smiles, his heart soaring at his sister staring at him with an earnest look in her eyes. “I like it too,” he says, toying with the condensation from his beer. “I really do.”

“I’m glad,” she replies, reaching over to take Alec’s hand, squeezing it with support. “You deserve all the love in the world, you know that, right?”

He doesn’t have time to act surprised at her comment, because Jace and Clary have joined them, followed by Magnus shortly after. And, of course, Alec greets Magnus with a kiss. And when they sit close together and lace their fingers together,  _ of course  _ he has to kiss his knuckles.

He can’t even be mad when Isabelle and Clary start aww-ing at him, because he’s too busy staring at Magnus with a sparkle in his eyes.

By the Angel, he’s so in love.

* * *

Alec can’t breathe. He’s trying to reign in his barrage of emotions as Brother Zachariah continues on with the wedding, and he’s surprised he doesn’t completely lose it when he and Magnus sound off their wedding vows. From his peripheral vision, he can see his mother, crying tears of joy, a contrast from the arranged marriage from years ago. And suddenly, there’s a feeling from deep within his heart he can’t pinpoint, a miasma of love, relief, gratitude and so much more that leaves him almost light-headed. If he so much as turned his head to look at his mother, he might start crying himself.

“I now pronounce you as one,” Brother Zachariah declares. And suddenly the reality has set in: he gets to spend the rest of his life with Magnus by his side.

Alec grabs the lapels of his  _ husband’s _ suit, pulling him into a deep and loving kiss, smiling against his mouth when he hears the support and applause of all the wedding guests around them. He wonders if this is what it’s like to truly live life: being in a room of all the people that loves and supports him for who he is, marrying the man that he loves with his entire being. He never wants to let go of this feeling.

(But, seeing the smiling faces watching them as they walk down the aisle, Alec thinks he doesn’t need to keep holding on, because they’ll be there to catch him when he falls.)

As they leave the wedding venue, he kisses Magnus again: a private kiss, just for the both of them, a promise for what’s to come. And he kisses Magnus many more times after that: during the reception as they exchange short and chaste kisses in between courses, during their first dance as they hold each other close and pay no attention to the crowds surrounding them, during that same night when clothes are discarded and hands and lips are wandering everywhere, and during that morning after when they wake up for the first time as husbands.

And Alec knows he’ll kiss Magnus a million more times after that. He didn’t know what he was expecting when he first kissed him for the first time all those many years ago, but all he knows that being selfish was the best decision he’s ever made in his entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> kisses to you all!!
> 
> hmu @ mangolesbian


End file.
